#
Date
Title
Source
Description
Tags
U9497
07.04.1997
Jake and Dinos Chapman's five proposals for an empty plinth situated on central londons trafalgar square - Jake and Dinos Chapman
Unbuilt Roads
  • commissioned by liberal daily broadsheet newspaper ironically suggesting the most unsuitable artists possible to produce the most unsuitable public sculpture never to be realized: ha ha ha, very funny we suggest one of the following: project 'Hawki ...

    commissioned by liberal daily broadsheet newspaper ironically suggesting the most unsuitable artists possible to produce the most unsuitable public sculpture never to be realized: ha ha ha, very funny we suggest one of the following:

    1. project 'Hawking Oracle', a life size facsimile of Steven Hawking sculpted by local craftsmen. perched high on a fiberglass uber-edifice over looking london's pigeon shit infested war piazza; the substantial Hawking sculpture is manned internally by an intelligent computer literate operator working with a wide variety of reference books and (possibly) internet access (if westminister council can budget for it); visitors will be able to address questions of any nature and on any subject to the Steven Hawking oracle. and with the minimum of internal cogitation will receive a relatively accurate answer via an electronic speaker located on stevens external voicebox;

    2. project 'fractal hot-dog stand', since Trafalgar square is the nucleus of londons late-nate public transport (the night-bus which ferries fucked clubbers to their respected suburban nightmare shirtholes) a plinthed hot-dog stand will open each night to freely distribute L.S.D marintated hot-dogs to peckish late night narco-revellers.

    3. project 'pillbox', a gun emplacement mounted on a plinth with bright neon sign reading 'BUREAU DE CHANGE' and strict orders to shoot tourists on sight: open twenty-four hours a day - including public holidays.

    4. project 'hand job', a state nurse placed on a comfy plinth to administer hand relief to weary travellers.

    5. project 'abstract form', a large bronze abstract form.

    commissioned by liberal daily broadsheet newspaper ironically suggesting the most unsuitable artists possible to produce the most unsuitable public sculpture never to be realized: ha ha ha, very funny we suggest one of the following: project 'Hawki ...

    commissioned by liberal daily broadsheet newspaper ironically suggesting the most unsuitable artists possible to produce the most unsuitable public sculpture never to be realized: ha ha ha, very funny we suggest one of the following:

    1. project 'Hawking Oracle', a life size facsimile of Steven Hawking sculpted by local craftsmen. perched high on a fiberglass uber-edifice over looking london's pigeon shit infested war piazza; the substantial Hawking sculpture is manned internally by an intelligent computer literate operator working with a wide variety of reference books and (possibly) internet access (if westminister council can budget for it); visitors will be able to address questions of any nature and on any subject to the Steven Hawking oracle. and with the minimum of internal cogitation will receive a relatively accurate answer via an electronic speaker located on stevens external voicebox;

    2. project 'fractal hot-dog stand', since Trafalgar square is the nucleus of londons late-nate public transport (the night-bus which ferries fucked clubbers to their respected suburban nightmare shirtholes) a plinthed hot-dog stand will open each night to freely distribute L.S.D marintated hot-dogs to peckish late night narco-revellers.

    3. project 'pillbox', a gun emplacement mounted on a plinth with bright neon sign reading 'BUREAU DE CHANGE' and strict orders to shoot tourists on sight: open twenty-four hours a day - including public holidays.

    4. project 'hand job', a state nurse placed on a comfy plinth to administer hand relief to weary travellers.

    5. project 'abstract form', a large bronze abstract form.